Finding Faith on my Own

It’s been a hot minute since I wrote anything. Frankly, I haven’t been inspired to write about anything and I just don’t like the idea of forcing out ideas. Even though I am also aware that the act of writing – just getting on my computer with a blank page – can never give me a poor outcome. No matter what, the act of writing is therapeutic for me. I think that’s why I sometimes struggle with the feeling of guilt when I’m not writing [consistently] – because there is a distant voice in the back of my mind telling me writing will bring answers, relief, understanding, openness, peace – no matter what I write about.

Well, to find some inspiration, I turned to May 24th of my daily meditations book (Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie) and talk about that voice gettin’ a little tuuude with me.

There is power and unexplainable beliefs in those moments when it’s EXACTLY what you needed to read/see/hear/notice.

Side note/very relevant piece that was just going to be a side note and is now the focus of this post: I’m been exploring my faith lately – its not something I have ever explored extensively, let alone pondered for 5 minutes, and in the past few months, I have been feeling a pull to figure out what that entails for me. This has in turn forced me to be intentional about trying different things out to see what feels right/what doesn’t. “Do you like to pray? Do you believe in praying? Is yoga practicing faith? Should I go to church? Who am I talking to when I’m just rambling on in my mind at night? In all honesty, call me an Atheist, or tell me this is a sin (I don’t even know?), but don’t I have a right to question what/who I am “praying” to? Why is it called praying? I mean, I’m talking to _____ , I call it God, up there – but maybe its not up and it’s, here, or I DON’T KNOW.” It’s a concept that starts tripping me out when I think too much into it. So small doses, people.

All I know is it has been a very enjoyable process and it pushes me. I never thought I would have read a book like the one I am now, which is a collection of Mother Teresa’s private writings. I’ve found a stronger faith by questioning what faith means. And I’m still figuring it out, but it has given me a stronger sense of purpose and meaning all while I’ve been searching for more answers.

Oh I suppose I should share this – here’s the part of the passage from my book that INSPIRED me to write, because clearly writing is one of my rituals.

 

What are the rituals that are important to you, that awaken joy, innocence, and faith in you? Do you allow yourself to use these rituals freely? What were the rituals you enjoyed as a child, the ones that brought comfort? Do you remember them? Engage in these rituals. Use them freely. Share them with others, as the priest did with me.

Rituals connect us to faith. They’re faith in action. Rituals are reminders of our connection to God. They bring us back to God and ourselves.

 

What are your rituals? Do you question your faith? Lets share.

 

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2 thoughts on “Finding Faith on my Own

  1. Happy to see your post!! I couldn’t wait to open it and share your world. Faith is testable. One should always question. My personal belief is that God wants us to. I believe this because I believe in the Free Will He gave us and something someone dear to me told me, when I too, was questioning it. She said to me, “Would you want someone to love and trust you freely or be forced to love and trust you? ” Of course, I responded freely. She then replied, “God is the same. That’s why there is free will. God is Love, and He knows that Love can not forced or bought”. I wish you well, my friend and keep questioning….it’s spiritual exploration.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love this. It is/has been an empowering and fruitful journey. It does pull me closer to “Him,” I’m just not certain that it is, a person. I notice that I connect with an “energy” of sorts.. And at this point, I do call it God. But, I think it can be used divisively though and I guess, just what I associate with the word makes me question if I should be using it myself. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤ I am going to hold onto that insight you have shared.

      Like

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